Cultures of sexual violence and mental health: a cyclical pattern
@womenwhoshout
T/W - Mental health, sexual violence
“Grab ‘em by the pussy. You can do anything.” Donald Trump 2005.
Rape culture has become embedded in the institutional system, it’s even happening amongst the most powerful people on the planet. And has been happening for hundreds of years. Rape culture is extremely normalised, because it’s a product of our patriarchal system; a misogynist system of values and beliefs that has developed over thousands of years. We know that rape culture exists and that it should end, which is why there is a growing body of research on it, but we rarely address why it needs to end. Until we address this, we won't be able to convince politicians for change (or even sack some of them). So! Let’s begin our journey into the effects of rape culture on victims at university...
Revolt Sexual Assault reported that 62% of students experience sexual violence at university. Furthermore, they reported that only 2% of those experiencing sexual violence felt that they could report it to their university AND felt satisfied with the consequences. Just imagine what the percentage would be if every student reported their experiences of sexual assault. However, we don’t need these percentages to know that rape culture and sexual assault is a huge issue; it’s EVERYWHERE. In Jackson and Sundaram’s (2015) paper which explored ‘lad culture’ at university, one student (an SU Officer) said “it’s like what would you say to report, ‘cos I could give you 20 reports from one night out”. This quote isn’t surprising to me (sadly); in my three years at university, I was victim to, and witnessed at least (huge emphasis on at least) 30 separate cases of sexual assault; of different severities, but each important to address and extremely damaging. Of these, only 1 was reported to the police. And it didn’t get anywhere.
Rape Culture is a constant process that wears you down
So, let’s look at the specific effects of rape culture on women. Phipps & Young (2013) concluded from their study that lad culture affected students in educational, social and personal spheres of their university lives. In reference to how rape culture infiltrates students’ social lives, one student within the study said “There’s this culture of ‘she says no because she’s playing hard to get’ when actually no means no”. The student referred to this culture as a “constant wearing someone down” and victims giving in to it, because they don’t know what else to say and they don’t feel like they have a choice. In terms of an educational impact, students said that women experienced social anxiety in lectures as a result of rape culture:
“A lot of my female friends who are cripplingly quiet in lectures… don’t want to draw attention to themselves... because they don’t want everyone in the class to be looking at them, because there is so much focus on a girl’s appearance.”
The study did not explicitly explore the effect of rape culture on mental health, but I think it’s important to discuss. The more that women are ‘worn down’ by rape culture, the more this has a wearisome effect on women, causing them to give up trying to battle it; numbed into having to accept it. And this is exactly what is happening. I have found that most women don’t even recognise abusive and unhealthy relationships for what they are and many haven’t even heard of the term ‘rape culture’, it’s just ‘normal life’ to them. Women (and men) see behaviours that we know contribute directly to rape culture as just normal masculine behaviours, compliments even! I know that, personally, I have been accustomed to it my whole life so when I got to university it was only when it was constant, extreme and actually threatened my rights as a human, that I began to recognise and question it.
Recognising ongoing buried trauma as rape culture
From my in-depth research into psychology and rape culture, and my own personal experiences as a woman at university, I have noticed a suggestion of ongoing buried trauma amongst victims, i.e. more commonly known as a ‘wearing down’ (phrase used by the student in Phipps and Young’s paper). Victims are suffering as a consequence of their experiences, but they don’t feel like they are allowed to have these feelings, and/or aren’t even aware that what they have experienced is sexual assault/abuse. Rape culture is so normalised that, often, victims only recognise it as being a ‘trauma’ after they have discovered feminism and psychology within books, academia, social media etc. For instance, In Phipps and Young’s paper, a student who had had a “bad experience with a guy” at university said
“...you read psychological analyses and stuff and you see that you’re allowed to have those feelings, and that’s quite good because you’re like ‘I’m allowed to have these feelings for a little while and then I can move on from them’.”
Therapists would describe this as acknowledging, feeling/processing and healing from your trauma. The researchers of the study concluded that lad culture is the major site for the creation of campus culture, and students felt that this culture had infiltrated their personal lives through misogynist jokes, ‘banter’ and sexual values, making it difficult to have committed, healthy relationships. This is concerning, because there is plenty of evidence to show that people who have insecure relationships and who have previously suffered from trauma are more likely to have poor mental health (Sund and Wichstrom, 2002) and unhealthy relationships in the future (Segal and Jaffe, 2019). It’s like a never-ending circle. The patriarchy is bound to thrive from women having poor relationships and mental health issues as a result of rape culture; women are too busy dealing with the impact of rape culture on their lives to have the mental space to challenge it by reporting their experiences and by participating in activism. It’s a survival mechanism to ignore rape culture as a woman. No kidding, it really is.
The cyclical repercussions of trauma
In Emily Nagoski’s book, ‘Come As You Are’, she explains that women have experienced sexual trauma disproportionately to men, which means that they’re more likely to bring to their sexual relationships the “emotional, physical, and cognitive functioning of a trauma survivor”. She also describes survivors of sexual assault as survivors of an “attempted murder that used sex as the weapon”. Naomi Wolf explores the consequences of issues surrounding rape culture in her book ‘The Beauty Myth’. For instance, by developing eating disorders in response to the objectification of women, women are attempting to take back control and cope with this culture that is controlling them and taking ownership of their bodies. Naomi Wolf also highlighted that if men were suffering as a result of societal pressure and objectification of their bodies, and consequently using coping mechanisms like starving themselves, the world would view it as an emergency for change, because “the sons of privilege are the future; the future is committing suicide”. However, when it’s women who are suffering emotionally, the world ignores it and even continues to worsen it.
Therefore we can see a cyclical pattern between rape culture and mental health. Many women may be living their lives as survivors of rape culture without even knowing it, suffering with repressed trauma symptoms and unhealthy relationships, which in turn means that rape culture isn’t fully acknowledged, let alone challenged. They may also have social anxiety as a result of rape culture, causing them to feel less confident to stand up to men. If we see mental health as both a consequence and facilitator of rape culture then what would happen if we put more resources and emphasis on supporting women with those mental health issues? For instance, through therapy, support groups, self-help, rape culture awareness talks. We could also have more allyship/bystander interventions by taking away the emotional labour of having to respond and deal with rape culture. Could these ideas disrupt the cyclical pattern? We need to address the effects of rape culture more directly, creating space for the victims’ needs in order to understand why change is needed. Just think of all the things women could achieve if they weren’t held back by the effects of rape culture; not frequently belittled, mocked and traumatised. I’d like to say I’m excited to see women begin to thrive, but first we need to spread the word and get people in power on-board to support victims and eradicate rape culture COMPLETELY.
Thoughts and activities to take away
1
As you go about your day-to-day at work, in public, at school, notice language and behaviour of others, or even yourself, which might be as a result of, or be part of rape culture. Note these down in a notebook or in your phone notes.
Examples may include language like: “Someone needs to tell her (child) to start wearing a bra, because she’s distracting the boys”. Or sexual assault behaviour that is so normalised, it isn’t questioned, such as a man putting his hands on a woman’s waist to get past her at work. Or a man grinding on a woman in a club without consent.
2
Notice how you feel as a result of rape culture language and behaviour - whether you are a victim or an observer. Do you feel angry, shocked, indifferent, upset, protective? Don’t judge these emotions that come up, just observe them and write down why you think you might be feeling that way.
At university I became known as “angry Catt” on a night-out, because I would lash out at any guy who touched me, and I became really ashamed and embarrased about this anger, but now when I look back I realise it was built-up rage from every sexual assault I had witnessed and experienced on these nights out.
3
Watch the Warwick University rape chat scandal on BBC iPlayer.
A poem by Catt Durant
As a female student who has been victim to rape culture
Take Up Space
My whole life
I have shrunk myself
To satisfy others’ expectations of me
Pretty, petite, passive
A self-fulfilling prophecy
I kept quiet when I should have screamed
Shouted
Cried
Mostly I just felt empty inside
I learnt to be fearful of men
Only speaking around women
Sweating, blushing, trembling
Just being in the same room as men
I tried shrinking myself physically
Shrinking my dreams, my mind
Sinking deeper into the patriarchy’s desire
Of women’s passivity and no fire
I believed I had nothing to give
Except the way I looked and acted
I have watched the women I love
Be objectified and mocked
Subtly reminding them of their place
I have become internally angry
I argue with any man who tries to shrink me
Even the ones that don’t
A pointless battle
I am so lonely
But fire burns within me
Because over time I have realised
I deserve to take up space
Just like all the amazing women
Around me
Quotes from university students in Phipps and Young’s paper
“I remember going into this nightclub and there were these rooms where men would stand around the edge and they were watching the women, and it was like a cattle market. They were picking the women, and it was like they were trying to pick the best steak, if you like. It's as if in this environment people don't see other people as people. They only see what they look like, whether they're wearing false nails, if their hair is perfect.”
“If a guy decides a girl is his, whether she likes him or not, no one else is going to get with her because they all know that the leader of the pack has decided, he kind of owns them, so sometimes that can be quite weird in social situations when you’re like ‘well who said I like you or that I want to go out with you? So that kind of thing is quite bizarre.”
“They have fancy dress discos at [my uni]…the lads always used to try and come as naked as possible, relating to whatever the fancy dress theme was. And to one where I wasn’t there, I was away for the weekend, apparently most of them went completely naked, and I was then added to a Facebook group which was for the appreciation of one of their naked bottoms.”
“I was on a bus once…there’s a lot of buses in [my city] with a lot of lads …they started making quite horrific rape jokes and [there were] quite a lot of individual women on the bus and you could see that everyone on the bus was really uncomfortable with this as you would hope most people would be. They could kind of sense it, but they were like ‘wahaay blah blah!’ like firing them off. And someone made a particularly horrible one… and there was kind of like a mood change and one of the guys was like, ‘Don’t worry ladies none of us have been convicted yet!’ and… [it was] like ‘you guys just can’t take the banter.’ And it’s not banter, it’s people’s real lives.”
Quotes from my Insta followers and friends
“We were on a night out and he (a friend) just smacked my ass and then dug his fingers into my ass area. And like I’ve always been touchy feely and quite open but for a long time I felt like there was a vibe I gave off which makes people I know well and people I don’t know well comfortable to kind of blur the lines. I told my friends at the time and they told me it’s because I throw myself at them and flirt with them and if I didn’t compliment them it might not happen. I thought this was a disappointing response and it made dealing with it very difficult for me.” - Student at University of Reading
“On my first week of freshers I went to a freshers night out with some of my ‘new friends’. Long story short… one of the group was too drunk to get in (I was at the front of the queue) and they didn’t get into the club. I was in the club, on my own, not knowing anybody. I went up to the smoking area (I had no ones number at this point) and got to speaking (briefly!!) to these two guys. They said they were freshers and made up some story of what course they were on etc. I explained I lost my friends and they asked what halls I was in. When I said they said they were going back there and made some believable story about an after party at our halls. I STUPIDLY let one of them drive me back to the halls. The non-driver claimed he was too drunk to remember the code on the door. Looking back I feel so stupid and naive. The rest was a blur but they both barged into my room. One was creepy and cuddly. The other decided to ransack my fridge. The latter (a very tall lad) stood blocking my door and the other started groping me. I facebook messaged one of the girls I briefly met on the first 2 nights to “come quick someone’s in my room”. Bless her, she came in a few minutes and told them to get out. The next day I explained what happened to the security who had to change all the codes on the hall doors (sorry to all the students who had just learnt them lol). Turns out they weren’t students at all and were just preying on vulnerable, drunk freshers. I often think what could have happened.” - Student at University of Southampton
“I was violently sexually assaulted by a student who then resigned as a student before an investigation started (so there was no attempt at justice) but he was still part of an SU play and I was uncomfortable him being on campus still so I was given the option to kick him off the play but was explicitly reminded that if I kicked him off then everyone else’s hard work at the play would go to waste because without him the show couldn’t go on. So I agreed to let him stay on campus and that was the end of that with no real thought for me, but for everyone else. Of course this is fair and I don’t want to let those people down but it felt so unfair and rude.” - Student at University of Warwick
“In the first week of freshers I lived with a guy who was really right-wing and the leader of lad culture in his sports society. Every night in the first few weeks of freshers he would barge into my room and pressure me to sleep with him (I eventually had to give in). The whole time he was in my room I would be constantly trying to wrestle him out the door but he was much taller than me and it was futile. I just put up with having this pushy guy in my room most days, waiting for when he was going to barge in again after his lectures/games and running to the door to lock it before he could get in. I wasn’t close with anyone yet to get help and I didn’t understand that this behaviour was really bad; I had been taught that if a guy acts this way then he must really like you and you should be nice to him. I guess this is the definition of rape culture. Looking back I realise how f*cked up this is and I wish I could go back and report him and give myself a hug. I know he’s not the only guy like this, there are hundreds of them, and I am so sad that this happens to so many people - students living in halls especially because there is absolutely no protection. You are put in accomodation with loads of strangers and expected to be fine. I realised the other day that I still lock my bedroom door (at any time of the day) even though this experience was years ago”. - Student at University of Reading
“We got a lot of transient people (sailors, I kid you not! Ie. military personnel, international and British) coming through the town. They would dock for a day or two and be gone again forever. A friend of my housemate had her drink drugged on a night out. Thankfully, she was not assaulted or raped. But when she reported it to the local branch of Devon & Cornwall police, they did nothing. Didn’t even bother to request the CCTV from the club. So she did it herself. She got the footage from the club, of the night she was drugged, and it was clear as day, the face of the guy who slipped something in her drink at the bar. She took it to the police and they ended up identifying him, and he was arrested and charged. But only because a young victim had the courage and savvy to come forward and DO THE POLICE’S JOB FOR THEM. And people wonder why we are calling for the police to be defunded. Not the only shit, disrespectful, unhelpful run in we had with Devon & Cornwall police. They were f*cking awful, in the face of actual, undeniable crimes. Even to the point of endangering my friends when they are supposedly meant to ‘protect’ us. They definitely discriminated against the students as we were seen as outsiders. Apparently this Navy guy had a history of doing it. He thought he could get away with it as he’d rape or assault a woman and be gone on his ship the next day.” - Student at Falmouth University