Home is not a safe place for everyone
When lockdown was announced just over a week ago I headed home to the flat I share with my boyfriend in London. So far for us, this time has meant peace, comfort and eight hours sleep every night, time to read in the morning, card games and evenings watching Netflix. It has meant having someone to share anxieties with and a safe place to hide from the uncertainty when it gets a little much. Appreciating this experience is a crucial reminder that for many, the weeks that stretch out in front are far from a time of cosiness and safety.
It is estimated that 1.6 million women experience domestic violence in the UK every year. For those people, lockdown brings increased fear and vulnerability. As COVID-19 spread across the world at the beginning of the year we heard reports of increased calls and incidences of domestic abuse in China. Reading these I remember holding my breath, knowing the inevitability of this following suit here in the UK. “We know that domestic violence is rooted in power and control,” says Ray-Jones, CEO of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, “Right now, we are all feeling a lack of control over our lives and an individual who cannot manage that will take it out on their victim.”
Over the weekend, boxer Billy Joe Saunders released a video giving ‘advice’ on how to hit a female partner if things get heated during lockdown. His responseto the backlash that followed was to say, “I would never condone domestic violence”, as if there is no correlation between an incitement of violence against women and the action of domestic violence. Despite the absurdity of this logic, Saunders’ belief highlights a common thought process, one that distances ourselves from the uncomfortable notion that domestic violence is not just an abstract concept, but something very real that is happening in homes around us.
Domestic violence is consistently seen as a private, personal issue, manifesting itself within intimate relationships between family members or partners and occurring behind closed doors. But domestic abuse is a form of gendered violence, fed by gendered inequalities and constructs that are embedded into wider society. Part of this construct is the divide we place between the personal and the political. This divide allows us to distance ourselves and absolves us of any responsibility we might have to take action.
This is crucial to understand as move through the coming months. The victims of domestic abuse who find themselves more vulnerable than ever, need our support and understanding. They need us to break down the divide between public and private and to make it our responsibility, as individuals and a community, to hold perpetrators accountable and to prioritise the provision of support and safe spaces for victims.
Some thoughts on what we can do:
Reach out to friends and family who you are concerned about, let them know you are there to talk and offer a safe place to stay if you’re able to.
Remind those who are vulnerable that they are allowed to leave their home. Refuges and safe houses continue to stay open during this time.
If you hear disturbances from your neighbours do not hesitate to call the police. Police in England and Wales have made it clear that domestic violence is a prioritised call.
If you can, support organisations that provide vital services to victims of domestic abuse, in particular because almost all of them rely on funding and public support. Links to a few of these amazing organisations are below.
Share resources and messages on your social media, you never know who you might be helping by reminding people they aren't alone.
